I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
