just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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