My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize