My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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