He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
only if we run a train.
done.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize