your parents love me but you hate me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
