Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
