don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
