So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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