Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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