yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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