Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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