Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
