Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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