Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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