so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
