I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
