Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
