I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Green mimosas i think yes
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
