Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
there was a trapeze. enough said
The best revenge is premature balding
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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