I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
