Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
