he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
