my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize