He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
