we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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