Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize