She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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