She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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