Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
