So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize