I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
