Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
