I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
