We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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