She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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