he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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