Don't you send me to vm
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
