Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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