Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Randomize
