Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize