I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
