Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
