i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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