I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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