ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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