Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
