Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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