thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
