I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
