what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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