mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize