dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
