she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
