I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
