Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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