now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
