Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize