do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
