batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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