But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
