Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
