New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
