oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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