If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
PS: I just woke up from my shower
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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