Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
