i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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