i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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