see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
