I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
