why do cheetos always look like penises
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
