someone get that fucking seahorse.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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