i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
