Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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