Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize