I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
