I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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