so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
and she was petting her beer can
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Everyone says I win the strip club
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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