he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
